To know my family is to know that when someone says “Gaga is avoiding her litter box again,” it’s meant to be taken literally.
“Boy stop, I’m just playin’; let me cut you up.”
— Lyric from Big Boi’s Shutterbug, or line from Bret Easton Ellis’s Imperial Bedroom?
Had a contest last night with the staff at Choice Kitchen to see who could write the most disgusting-sounding menu item. And I kept my notes.
“Buffalo mini-burgers with a coffee marinade and chocolate sprinkle garnish, topped with chocolate-covered jalapeño peppers, roma tomatoes, and vinegar-marinated shiitake mushrooms.”
“Seared ahi tuna with a creamed watermelon sauce, topped with melted brie and served lukewarm. Ginger and vinegar asparagus on the side.”
“A portobello mushroom glazed with caramel and salsa, topped with chili. Served over grilled flax bread with a clementine garnish and a dollop of peanut butter.”
- CNBC's Maria Bartiromo: And we'll have more news for you after the break. Nine minutes until closing bell.
- Me: [sip coffee]
- Me: [some quips to the ceramic birds that sit on my dining room table]
- Me: [stare out window for awhile]
- Bartiromo: And we're back. This was an earnings-driven rally driven by strong results from... [closing bell rings].
From the Science I Don’t Understand But Still Presume Is Pretty Awesome department:
“The results suggested that there were some serious heavyweights among these stars. But, as noted above, Wolf-Rayet stars expel material rapidly, and these stars were over a million years old. When extrapolated back, it appeared that some of them formed with over 300 solar masses worth of material, about double the previously expected limit.” [more]
The intro to the Criminal Minds rerun that’s on now quoted Chuck Palahniuk. Somehow, this makes perfect sense to me.
“In Washington, the news cycle promises to become even more frenzied as outlets like The Huffington Post expand their operations there. The Atlantic Media Company, which publishes the National Journal and The Atlantic, plans to hire 30 new journalists for a new venture set to open this fall that will publish breaking news and analysis online.”
And the accompanying Times article sure makes one want to pursue those openings! Media-folk, you know the one I’m talking about without even clicking through.
There isn’t an application that will filter out the shrill yips of a cross-bred rat terrier poodle, so that when you’ve finally found the time to call your mother and then a FedEx delivery shows up at her door you can continue on with a normal conversation instead of digressing to assert that no, really, she should totally invest in sending that thing to obedience school, is there?