A plain-English summary of JPMorgan’s $2b trading loss, for people who don’t speak the language Banker.

A Dose Of Optimism: Where The Recession Isn’t.

Lawmakers seem to be seriously freaked about recently released unemployment figures. By a lot of different measures, the workforce’s collective productivity is plummeting quickly.

This particular recession has basically ruined financial services and hit other industries, like manufacturing, hard. But it’s not everywhere—yet*.

Technology: Think R&D into technology with clear value, not web development or enterprise software sales. I’d include energy technology at the top of this category.

Arts & Entertainment: This makes sense if you think about it. The mindset during recession is (or ought to be) focused on changing the status quo, and arts/entertainment either fuel or reflect change.

Industrial Government Work: I direct attention here.

Real Estate: This is debatable, but with a political focus on efficient buildings and volatile energy prices, the development of buildings that don’t cost much money to maintain should boom. This should include the actual construction as well as the efficiency technologies like water recapture, solar, carbon sequestration, et al (see: Technology).

* Don’t even think about thinking about taking this as career advice. My outlook on this favors people my age (28) heavily and isn’t based on anything besides casual observation.

Now THIS Makes Me Feel A Bit Better About My Own Eroding Sanity.

Just-received e-mail:

“Hello dear Ladies and Gentlemen!

I would like inform you that Scarlett Johansson (actress) actually is a clone from original person Scarlett Galabekian last name, who has nothing with acting career. That clone was created illegally by using stolen biological material. Original person is very nice (not d**n sexy),most important - CHRISTIAN young lady! I’ll tell you more,those clones (it’s not only one) made in GERMANY - world leader manufacturer of humans clones, it is in Ludwigshafen am Rhein, Rhineland-Palatinate, Mr. Helmut Kohl home town. You can not even imaging the scale of the cloning activity. But warning! Helmut Kohl clone staff strictly controlling all their clones (at least they trying) spreading around the world, they are very accurate with that, some of them are still NAZI type disciplined and mind controlled clones, so be careful get close with clones you will be controlled as well.”

(snipped; you get the idea.)

A Simple Request.

Barring voter suppression of ridiculous proportions, Barack Obama will become President-elect tonight. So to all his fellow supporters, I offer this piece of advice:

Don’t fuck this up.

There’s no time for celebrating, reflecting, or gloating. We need to get to work.

If you’re employed, continue to do good work, spend some of your money, and invest the rest. If you’re a student, study what you’re interested in and volunteer some of your free time. If you’re too young to vote, stay in school and try not to make babies.

If you’re poor, tell us what you need. We want to help. If you’re middle-class, keep doing what you’re doing. You’ll pull us out of recession. If you’re rich, get out your fucking wallet. Access to United States capitalism now costs money, and if you think you can make the same returns without it, then go ahead and try.

But to any supporter who spends time reveling in this victory instead of contemplating their role in this opportunity: Go screw yourself. Seriously. This is where the hard part begins, not ends.