What they said.
“They might as well have called Brooklyn the hometown of malodorous droolers. For the signs dug into an open wound — the second-class status that even the proudest Brooklynite lives with on a daily basis. Just try getting your friends to visit from Manhattan and you’ll know what I mean.”
— OH GOD. This again. Andrea Peyser rehashed the tired boroughs battle last week, starting her column with “Brooklyn is for losers.” She went on to add, “Manhattan is for self- loathing manic-depressives. And loads of New Yorkers wouldn’t have it any other way.”
What a way to start a column, Peyser! The tough-talking, I-speak-from-the-gut Lady of the Post writes a confusing little comparison of Brooklyn and Manhattan and people’s perceptions of the two places. She ends it with, “I live in Brooklyn. By choice. You got a problem with that?” In between, though, she goes on to quote people who say Brooklyn residents are less attractive than Manhattan residents, and that men in Brooklyn prefer “cuddling in breakfast” while those in Manhattan need “space.” Oooh, breakfast and cuddles, sounds terrible! Do people really only live in Brooklyn because they can’t afford Manhattan? Maybe. But honestly, who cares? And if you have friends who wont visit you if you live outside of Manhattan-whether you live in Brooklyn or Queens or the Bronx—then maybe you should get less jerky friends.
With audible murmurs of “This is no way to live,” “What the hell am I doing here—I hate it here,” and “Fuck this place. Fuck this horrible place,” all 8.4 million citizens in each of the five boroughs packed up their belongings and told reporters they would rather blow their brains out with a shotgun than spend another waking moment in this festering cesspool of filth and scum and sadness.
By 5:15 p.m. there was gridlock traffic on the outbound sides of the Holland and Lincoln tunnels, and the area’s three major airports were flooded with New Yorkers, all of whom said they wanted to go anyplace where the pressure of 20 million tons of concrete wasn’t constantly suffocating them.
It was sometime during 2008 when I rationalized the best way for me to flee would be via the next Amtrak Acela Express to D.C.